Hey, Billu... 👀

I don't really know how to begin this letter, because my heart is full of so many emotions — love, regret, pain, and hope. But today I just want to speak honestly, simply, and purely from my heart. I am writing this to say sorry, to express my love for you, and to tell you everything I could not say properly before.

First of all, I am truly, deeply sorry for not talking to you from 12th January till February. I know my silence must have hurt you. I know my absence must have created distance between us. And I am also sorry for not asking you to be my Valentine. You deserved my love, my attention, my efforts, and my presence — but instead I gave you silence. For this, I am genuinely ashamed and I ask for your forgiveness.

The truth is, Bittu, things between us were not going well at that time. There were misunderstandings, confusion, and emotional distance. My heart was heavy and my mind was tired. That is why I asked for space — not because I wanted to go away from you, but because I wanted to heal myself and come back stronger for us.

But somewhere in my heart, I expected you to hold me back. I wanted you to stop me, to pull me close, to tell me not to go. When you gave me the space I asked for, instead of holding me, it hurt me deeply. I know this sounds unfair, because you only respected what I asked. But love is sometimes illogical, and my heart wanted you to fight for me. That pain made me go into a longer silence.

Yet even in that space, even in that silence, I missed you every single day.

I missed talking to you.
I missed your voice.
I missed your presence.
I missed my Gauraiyaa.

Even when I was quiet outside, inside my heart there was only you.

In the silence of my days,
your name echoed softly,
like a prayer my heart kept repeating.

Bittu, I want to apologize with all my heart for the harsh words I once said to you — "jaisi tum ban gayi ho vaisi ladkiyo pe to ham thukte bhi nai hai."

I feel ashamed even writing this. Those words were completely wrong, disrespectful, and never truly reflected what I feel for you. My choice of words was terrible. I never meant to insult you or hurt your dignity. Please forgive me for speaking in anger and frustration.

What I actually meant was something very different. I only wanted to say that you have changed, and that change was difficult for me to understand because we are in a relationship. I wanted you to understand my feelings, my needs, my expectations — just like I try to understand yours. I never meant that you are less or that you are not worthy. In my eyes, you have always been special, precious, and irreplaceable.

Words spoken in anger can wound deeply,
but my heart never held that meaning.

If my words were thorns,
please see my love as the rose.
If my anger was darkness,
please see my heart still chose you.

Gauri, I really love you. Not just in words, but in feelings, in thoughts, in every small thing. My love for you was present even when we were not talking. My care for you never stopped. My heart never stopped choosing you.

You are not just someone in my life — you are a part of my life.

You are the calm in my chaos,
the smile in my sadness,
the warmth in my cold days,
the home my heart searches for.

I also want you to know that even during this difficult time, I put my efforts into making something special for you. I created this website only for you. Every small detail, every effort, every moment spent on it had only one purpose — to express my love and to bring a smile to your face. It was my silent way of saying that even when I was not talking, my heart was still working for you.

This was not just a website.
It was my apology.
It was my love.
It was my hope for us.

I know I made mistakes. I know I failed in communication. I know I hurt you with my silence and my words. But please believe me when I say that my intentions were never to lose you. I was confused, hurt, and emotional, but my love for you never changed.

Relationships are not perfect. Love is not always easy. Sometimes we misunderstand each other, sometimes we expect things without expressing them, sometimes we hurt each other without meaning to. But what truly matters is whether we still choose each other after everything.

And today, I am choosing you again.

• I want to understand you better.
• I want to communicate better.
• I want to respect you more.
• I want to grow together with you.

If you give me one more chance, I promise to express my feelings properly, to never let silence create distance again, and to respect your emotions always.

Love is not about never making mistakes,
love is about holding hands after mistakes.

Bittu, please forgive me. Forgive my silence. Forgive my harsh words. Forgive my misunderstandings. Forgive my ego. Forgive my absence. I am not perfect, but my love for you is honest and true.

I don't want distance.
I don't want silence.
I don't want a life where you are not part of it.

I want you.
Your smile.
Your presence.
Your love.

You mean more to me than my ego, more than my anger, more than my misunderstandings. You are important to me in ways words can never fully explain.

If loving you is a journey,
I want to walk every path with you.
If love is a story,
I want our story to never end.

I know forgiveness is not easy, and I do not expect everything to become normal instantly. Take your time. Feel your emotions. But please keep a small place in your heart for me and my love.

I am here, with an open heart, asking for your forgiveness and hoping we can start again — stronger, wiser, and closer than before.

I really love you so much, Gauri. Always have, always will. 💕

Ab aage badhiye mere saath...
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Billu, please? 🌸